The End
” I don’t think things are going too well..”
I stared at him. It took me sometime to process that piece of information.
He was trying to read my expressions. I made sure he couldn’t.
I wasn’t a fool, I knew what would come after that.
“.. so I think we should break up.”
I didn’t even bother listening to the explanation he gave in between. I knew I had shock written all over my face. I certainly did not see that coming.
” I’m really sorry Chandrayee..”
I realised he stopped talking and was looking at me to say something. At that moment my brain forgot how to put words together and I was clearly speechless.
” I.. I don’t know what to say. If.. if that’s what you want then alright”
I was proud of myself for saying that. I put my ego barrier up. Even though I didn’t mean a single word. Do I want the break up? Obviously not ! Am I okay with it ? Not a bit ! Bottling up my inner desires was one my special traits. He looked perplexed. I think he expected me to burst out crying.
To be honest, I did not feel like crying in that moment. A part of me was sure he’ll be over the ‘ I need to break up’ phase and realise that ending the relationship isn’t the solution to every problem we face. A part of wanted to assess the whole situation. When did it become that bad that he had to reach a conclusion like this? A part of me wanted to hug him and say sorry for whatever reason he wanted to break up with me for. A part of me wanted to just walk away.
” So you’re cool with it?” He asked.
” Yeah, I guess”
A white lie.
” I think I’m going to leave.” It’s funny how my brain comes up with all these things to say. These aren’t even the things I actually wanted to say.
I wanted to hit him on the head, laugh at him and say ‘ you’ve gone nuts’ but even after dating him for two years, at that moment I felt like I lost the right to do anything. At that moment I felt like I didn’t even know who he was.
I tried looking for the nearest cab, auto or any means of transport I could find. Given the option, I would’ve loved to evaporate myself from the situation. He didn’t argue, he tried to look for a cab for me too.
” I really have to go now” I giggled
We were on the same road, holding hands.
” I’ll drop you off, stay for a little while” he pleaded
“Hostel curfew, honey”
He laughed “C’mon then, let me find you a cab”
A wave of thoughts gushed through as I sat in the cab. I did not know which thought to think about first. I took a deep breath.
” You’re the one.” He said all of a sudden.
I gave him the confused look.
“Huh?”
” I want to spend my whole life with you.”
I smiled and hugged him. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.
“I promise to never hurt you Chandrayee.”
Promises.
The future is unpredictable. Just like human nature. The same person who promised to spend their whole life with you will realise in a few years time that a commitment of that sort requires a lots of sacrifices , hard work and patience and will eventually give up because of the added responsibilities of life. Making fake promises is wrong but believing in fake promises is a sin in itself. Not only will you get hurt, but you’ll also lose faith in the world and the way it works.
The end never bothered me but the whole effort of starting afresh after the end is the real trouble.
I sighed.
Finally, the end.
thehealingneuron 